Be Grateful To Your Lovely Ones, While You Still Have a Chance

 Hi Guys, it's been a very long time I never updated this blog. I forgot the e-mail actually, but then somehow i manage to get this blog back.

My dear father has passed away few days ago. Sad. And I started to missing him even more.

How he texted me "Hi Mario, wake up already? where do you wanna go today? have you eaten yet?", and the feeling of worry when rain started pouring because his chest cannot be wet due to his health condition, and I always checking on him "Pi, where are you now? Heavy rain! Go home".

People said we will realize about things that important to us when we lose it. I feel it.

Somehow I feel it, I always knew that if I didnt spend time with my father properly I will regret it my whole life. I try to accompany him when I have a free time in the past few years, but I feel I could do better.

But the regret is in the past 2 weeks my father condition makes me confuse about his real condition, and I didn't know if life really that short & unpredictable, because everything seems so fine. I didn't spend time with him like what I did in few years before in the last 2 weeks, and the time has come. My father passed away just in a blink of an eye.

A lot of words unspoken. A lot of stories unheard.

Then after I lost him, I started to realized that he was everything to me.

Through our complicated life that I cannot disclose in here, a lot of my family members dislike my father and give me an influence to dislike him too. But I always try to defend him as much as I can, or maybe just act like I didnt hear anything. And I always knew that I love him. But I never knew that he was everything to me.

My father wasn't a perfect guy, he made a lot of mistakes during his short period of his life. But neither am I. I wasnt a perfect child either. So I think the most important things is to respect him and remember all of his kindness, and cherish the good memories that we had.

I grew up with him, and spent almost my whole life alongside with him.

We shared a lot of joy memories together, a lot of stories that never heard by others, that only both of us know.

Hope I've become an ideal child for you, and I know I havent made you proud yet, but I will do better in life.

Hope my presence be a source of your happiness during your life.

I always denied it, But now I realized I was a golden boy. 

I may not be your spoiled kid, but I knew I was your special kid.

Thank you for everything that you've done in my life, and I will always mourning you.

Me and my descendants will always remember you as a great man, and we are very proud about good things that you did in your life. There's nothing you can do anymore, you did a great life!

We are man of action, you taught me to be one. But I do hope that you can hear me say I love you to you for once.